my life 3 years ago seems surreal

thinking about how I used to feel
how much I was in love

how I can't imagine that feeling anymore...

I dont feel like love is in my heart, anymore.

I dont like people.
I want to be alone most of the time.

screw halloween

Well.. here's lookin at you, kid.

Head has three new advantages to my life. If its in my throat it aint in my uterus. Its an antidepressant. It will lower my chances of breast cancer?!?!

God works in mysterious ways, guys.

Every time I stare off quietly

I'm thinking about how I mean absolutely nothing to anyone.

or

I'm thinking about how its all my fault.

Before you left to go away
I wrote down what i couldn't say
I bet you read it on the road
With foggy lights and fingers cool

Now you drove so far but now you know
How rough it is to let me go
And let me recommend that you think twice
And i always give the best advice

Now come on back to where you know i'll be
Lets' go sit under the apple tree
You can floor that thing, let the engine roar
The wheels they'll spin, the rain it pours

And there's regret that you feel
About the choice you've made
You'll just have to deal
Before it goes away
You ask me how i feel
And here's what i'll say that
I'm doing fine, just fine
I'm doing fine

He told me he doesn't care anymore

so I got my things and I left.

He told me he doesn't want my friendship anymore

so I cried and turned my phone off

I dont want to hurt anymore.

I'm at my mom's house, locked up in my room.

I don't ever want to leave.

My job is supposed to pay for my class.
The idiot that was supposed to waive my tuition and fees

they didnt

i got dropped from my maymester class [mind you it ends in 7 days]

its been a week and they have yet to put me back in the class, even though Ive been doing all the work and attending

if they dont fix their issue prior to the final exam

I cant get my grade for the class.

which means GSU will see me as an inactive student in my first term

which means they drop my acceptance and I have to reapply.

someday...

someone will care.

why am I online

Im on vacation

I just got home from alabama

I spent two days/nights with chris

I love him. it was fun.

my body hurts. Im sleepy. DND

I miss kissing.

Comment and I will....

a) Tell you why I friended you.
b) Associate you with something -- a fandom, song, color, photo, etc.
c) Tell you something I like about you.
d) Tell you a memory I have of you.
e) Ask you something I've wanted to know about you.
f) Tell you my favorite userpic from your list.
g) In return, you need to post this on your own LJ

ps: I feel lost in myself, but so happy with life.

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Im crying
at work

I just miss you so much.

Why the hell do I love you?

Where should I go for my vacation?
I want to go somewhere new
and amazing

I'm probably going alone.. so it needs to be a social place where I can find people to have fun with


I need something different and amazing

itll probably be a week over thanksgiving.. someone help.

I care more than you do.
It kind of sucks.

Sometimes
I feel hopeful.
I feel something deep inside of me that is just

HAPPY!


but then there's this crust on the outside
that is just miserable, and weighed down

Most of all
I want to dive deep into a mess of insanity and confusion
and I want to LOVE IT!

I want to be unorganized, and messy, and live off of my dreams.

I'll never have that.

I have the flu.

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed
With a single pillow underneath your single head
I guess you decided that that old queen was more space than you would need
Now it's in the alley behind your apartment with a sign that says it's free

And I hope you have more luck with this than me

You used to think that someone would come along
And lay beside you in a space that they belong
But the other side of the mattress and box springs stayed like new
What's the point of holding on to what never gets used?

Other than a sick desire for self-abuse

And I try not to worry, but you've got me terrified
It's like your some kind of hurry
To say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed

I'm still in love with you.

but I finally dont care if I'll ever be with you.

I'm content without speaking often.

I'd love to hear your voice.

I have great news I would love to share with you


I want you to be happy for me

I want a friend out of this
since I lost everything else in you.



my job is awesome.
I'm happy.
I dont have time for boyfriends